I'm so determined to get my body back. And if I can't ever get the same body back, I will just make this body the best possible body it can be. I'm just DONE with this flabby, disgusting tub of lard. I really don't see how people can let themselves go. It's not just unattractive, it's so darn uncomfortable and inconvenient. You look horrible, you feel horrible, and it's impossible to find anything that looks decent. That's why fat people wear mu-mus; crop tops or short skirts, or anthing slightly fitting do not look good with rolls hangin' out.
And I'm also done being good. I've been good enough in my life. It's kinda funny, though. For all the goodness in me, when I'm bad, it's really bad, even though it only shows through once in a blue moon.
I was actually, in part, inspired by Tila Tequila. She's a cute, bad-ass girl. But, so what? I used to be so judgemental. Geez, does it really matter that she's half naked in most of her photos? So what? It doesn't make her a bad girl. It doesn't define her life. Actually, I don't know much about her, so I can't say. But for me, letting go of all my inhibitions is not going to make me a bad person. It'll just make me free. So, as of today, I'm done being a good girl. I'm gonna be a bad-ass mommy. Yee-haw. Well, a good mommy and wife, and daughter, and friend... just a bad girl. Hee-hee.